Dating at Work

“Aren’t there any cute attorneys or IT guys at your work? Seriously, there is a whole building of men in suits around you right?” My friend meant well. And she had a point – a recent survey found that 40% of married couples in the U.S. met at work. What is it about dating at work?

I’ve done it: Back in high school I worked at an establishment that served food through a window and required me to wear horrible navy blue pants that slimmed at the ankle. I was a vision in scratchy polyester and a visor that read, “Try our new burritos!” There was a blue-eyed skinny blonde manager there- a hot college boy – who used to “walk me to my car” at night to be sure I was safe. It was love. Or so I thought, until I realized he was literally walking every girl who worked there to her car the same way he did with me. There’s danger in spending your time lusting for a man who can legitimately make you take out the trash while he sneaks into the walk-in fridge with Alex, the dark-haired, tongue-ringed rebel who came in with him in the same clothes she wore last night.

Everyone knows it’s a bad idea: The perils are obvious- you potentially have to see Fred in marketing every weekday for the next decade, and you know that he knows what you look like in red lingerie. Worse – you know that he knows that you got waaay too drunk on your third date and ended up crying about how no one will ever love you and that you’ll die alone. Even worse than that? Choose badly and you’ll forever be “the girl who saw Ed naked. What was she thinking???”

But we do it anyway. Clearly, if 40% of married couples met at work, there are lots of us throwing caution to the wind and calling Brad into our office for “an important meeting (in my pants!).”

My theory is that we date at work because we get to know people there. Online dating, first dates, blind dates – they all have a black and white mentality attached to them. Do I like you? Do I like you enough to have another date? Oh, you don’t like Thai food? Never mind – this isn’t meant to be.

But at work? You get to know that Robert, who you never noticed before, volunteers every week training puppies to be guide-dogs for the blind, and suddenly at a happy hour, you want to get to know him really well. Dating at work allows time to know who someone is, and that can be the greatest aphrodisiac of all. And you always have something to talk about – like your boss.

So is there anyone at work I want to date? No – not right now at least. Plus I feel like you only get one chance to date at work per job. Go out with a couple of guys and you become “that girl” quickly. I’m saving my turn in case we actually do get a hot new junior partner that I can blog about