“How to Make Anyone Fall In Love With You.” The title of the book evokes in me two reactions – (1) innate disgust at the author who must be a snake-oil salesman who promises to revive the dead with her magic potion and (2) intense hope that this may in fact the magic pill I’ve been waiting for my entire life.
The basic premise: The author collected all of the available social and psychological studies on what makes people fall in love. She creates a how-to, describing everything from “toffee eyes”- letting your eyes hold on your queries’ for four to five seconds - to suggestions on giving "killer" compliments.
How to make ANYONE fall in love with you? Well- almost anyone…she does have an entire section on how to relate to the rich (dress expensively and mirror their language choices, learn about politics, business and sports like polo and tennis) and beautiful (don’t compliment them on their looks – go for compliments about their intelligence or a unique quality about them).
The best advice: Commonality and chemistry are found in (1) common things you do for fun, (2) common ideas on life/religion/politics/family and (3) the tacit assumptions we each have on what a relationship should be. This third one caught me off guard- if you’re really trying to make someone fall in love with you- mirror and exhibit what they think the perfect relationship is – including how often you chat on the phone together, how many times a week you see each other, whether you’re affectionate in public etc. Obviously it helps to actually have these ideas in common, but to make someone fall in love with you- mirror their thoughts back to them.
The most questionable advice: The entire last section of the book deals with sex. She suggests men read romance novels and women watch hard-core porn in an effort to learn how to f*ck like a porn star- or at least to not laugh when yelling “do it baby, harder!” Intriguingly, she believes “avowed bachelors” (handsome, successful George Clooney types) are frequently unmarried because they’re into damn kinky sex, and they haven’t found a suitable life partner who also appreciates that they’d prefer to be spanked with paddles, or to dress up in women’s lingerie while the woman plays the part of the man. She suggests if you’re dating a guy who should have been taken off the market long ago, that you should hop onto his kinky leanings- wholeheartedly- if you want to bag him.
Is it worth reading?: Yes. It’s pretty basic when it comes right down to it- look your potential partner in the eye, be engaging in conversation, stroke their ego, stroke the other parts of them – voila!- love. This book is a good reminder of how to be a good date, and when you find one worth keeping, how to show him how right you are for him in the long haul.
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