I'm signed up for three, yes three, online dating web sites. I told you I'm doing this full stop. Either that or I enjoy seeing how many times I can find the same single guy on each site -- it's my own personal warped "Where's Waldo" for Match.com. Look! There's Jimbo78 from OKCupid -- only here, he's BadBoyDanger. Wow, the other profile didn't say he owned a motorcycle.... There is a finite world of us singles out there. Luckily I'm in Los Angeles, so the pool is large, if not at all deep or full of any depth whatsoever.
I recently googled, "how to write a great online dating profile" and came up with mostly articles written for men. This intrigued me -- aren't women the ones always looking for dating advice? There have to be 50 love self-help books written for women on the shelf at Barnes and Noble for every one written for a man. Not that I'd know of course-- I don't own a copy of "Why Men Love Bitches" and it's witty sequel, "Why Men Marry Bitches," wait-- yes I do...
Anyway- I've been perusing online posts now for some time. A couple of my personal favorites: under the section on eharmony titled, "I am most passionate about..." someone recently answered, "maintaining a sensible diet." Huh? Really? How about travel, music, or sports? "Maintaining a sensible diet" makes me think this guy enjoys one Slimfast for breakfast, one for lunch, and then enjoys a sensible dinner followed by quiet missionary position sex and then going to sleep listening to Anderson Cooper in the background. Not. Hot.
Another online winner wrote in his profile, "If you're one of those girls who loves fashion that isn't practical, we probably won't get along. For instance, if you own those high heels that lace up your leg, they don't look good. Ladies, just because it's in fashion doesn't mean it looks good on you!" Um...sir...I'm pretty sure you just insulted me. And you don't know me. Nor will you ever. Nor will you know if I even have such a pair of shoes, nor if they look damn hot laced up my leg. And by the way- apparently you have nothing to say about yourself so you've chosen to criticize an army of hot-shoe-wearing women who apparently ignore you in bars.
New Year's Resolution for my single urbanite quest for love-- maintain a sensible diet and buy proper non-lace-up shoes. Hahaha- never gonna happen - I guess that's why it's a New Year's Resolution.
Sheila, your sister's friend, sent me your blog. I feel your pain...but at least you're making people laugh in the meantime :) Looking forward to reading more.
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